i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
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