Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
Randomize
