She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
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