Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
Randomize
