Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize
