super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Randomize
