Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
Bridesmaid dress fitting. I look like a Weeble and Michelle looks like Malibu Barbie. I have to keep reminding myself that she has herpes so really, the playing field is more level than it might initially seem.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
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