I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
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