I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
