Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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