:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
Green mimosas i think yes
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
Randomize
