i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
Randomize
