before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize
