Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
