You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Randomize
