His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
