My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize
