Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
i just stumbled downstairs, still drunk, to hug my dad and wish him a happy fathers day
but fathers day is next sunday
i realized that after i threw up on his bare feet
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
Operation Purity has been aborted
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
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