what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Randomize
