just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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