It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize