His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
God, I missed his penis.
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