accomplished twins. life is a go
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
