I feel great
I just peed on a car
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Randomize
