we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
