Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
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