Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
