So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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