He asked to "fluff my boner.."
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
Randomize
