Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
