That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Randomize
