I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
