I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
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