I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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