Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
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