My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
two words...techno handjob
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
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