The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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