Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
PANTIES FOUND
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