Who wears a wallet chain?!
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
Randomize
