So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize
