Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
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