Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Randomize
