All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
last night I used snow as a chaser
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
