I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
I like to think it a success when the cops are called
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
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