Already got asked if we're dating
i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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