Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
