There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
That's when you crack a 10am beer
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
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