he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
Randomize
