If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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