I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Randomize
