well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
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