I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
