I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
