Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Randomize
