i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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