I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
Randomize