I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
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