There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
Well apparently he's into motor boating.
I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
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