I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
